of Mice and Men

It's 1:19 am and I'm awake and writing in my blog - what would cause me to do that? A very active mouse who thinks my bedroom is his playland. I tried to ignore him, but he seems to like to run back and forth past my headboard. That's a little too close for me. I have no offensive weapons and my only defense is to leave the room - so the mouse wins! The other battle going on in Riga happened this weekend when the first Gay and Lesbian Parade was held. This whole issue is a shock to Latvians or so it seems. The Anglicans have embraced and celebrated with the gays. The only group speaking against their lifestyle are the neo-Nazi types. I had no idea it had happened until the next day when testimony time in church became 'state your opinion and tell the other guy he's wrong' time. Even then I only understood a bit from the random translation I was getting and my own limited Latvian skills. It seemed we were debating about law versus grace. It's a good discussion to have, but it was not the appropriate time nor was there a church leader there to give some direction. As Latvia becomes more and more like the rest of Europe, they are going to have so many ethical issues to consider and debate. The Church is going to have to figure out what our role is. Last year in Chicago I helped pass out cold drinks at our Pride parade. I'd love to get a group to do that here, but I'm not sure they would be ready or that I would be allowed. As I've been listening the thing that has struck me is how challenging but extremely important will be the ethics and social issues classes for our training program. I'm going to need serious prayer and consultation.

Now for something totally frivolous since I'm not ready to tackle the mouse yet: I've been thinking about shoes and bags the last two weeks. Why? Because I'm trying to figure out how to efficiently travel back and forth to my new training center office and just generally get around Riga comfortably. My office is a tram ride and depending on my timing a long walk away. I'm enjoying the route and just getting out of this building but I've got serious blisters from using the wrong shoes. Latvian women wear Italian pointy, spiky shoes which I can't even think about. But, I can't wear my Keds or Reeboks either. So, I've been trying different shoes. What I've noticed about the Latvian women is that their feet are seriously damaged from those awful shoes - they all wear strappy sandals in the summer so you can tell! The problem is the roads are mostly cobble stone or some other uneven brick work. Which leads me to what bag do I use to carry my laptop and work back and forth? I have my brief case which rolls and have hesitated using it because I look even more like the rich American. But, I brought it out last week. Now I know why people here don't use them (even the rich ones) - it's those same cobble stone roads - the wheels don't work on them! So I ended up carrying it which makes it useless. For now I'm using my back pack which makes me look like a student (old one) or tourist. And I saw a disaster in an airport when someone's laptop just dropped right onto the floor from a back pack. I cannot afford that. When I think about all the good bags I've had from youth councils, camps, conferences and given away...oh well. I'm shopping for just the right bag. What do Latvians use? For most of their toting they use plastic shopping bags - random ones from various stores. Women carry one or two instead of a canvas bag, even those who wear suits and seem to be professionals. Marina brought 6-7 bags on our trip last week. She kept bringing out surprising things like mugs, coffee and tea, a heating coil, spoons and food, plus the clothes and things she needed. One small suitcase would have held it all, but she likes her bags. I guess it's a good recycling program. No great insight from all of this thinking - just part of trying to live and fit into another culture without aching feet!

Walking in Blind Faith

The next two days I spent traveling in Northeastern Latvia with my friends Veronika, Dana and Marina (their mom). (Pictures: 1. River at Masaslaca 2. Dana, Evie and Veronika at Baltic Sea 3. "Thank God we made it!" through a winding forest path and back out several hours later!) This was a practice in faith and humility for me because other than being the driver, I had no idea where we were going or what we would be doing. And neither did they - it was a real adventure! See a sign, turn onto a dirt road and drive until we find something - that was the usual plan and it worked. Even when we came to the evening and no place to sleep. Marina stopped someone on the street of a tiny village and we ended up in a sports camp dorm which was really nice. I have to say that my faith was wavering right up to the point where we walked into the room and saw the beds and private shower/toilet! We got to see the Baltic Sea from lots of different perspectives. And we did miles of walking through forests with no idea of what we would find at the end or if/when it might end. Usually we found a beach and the sea and always another beautiful nature scene. I found that being a follower is hard for me (surprise!) and a little tiring. It's hard work for me to keep my mouth shut and trust someone else to make decisions! But, in another way, it's also peaceful and freeing. This wasn't any big deal but for me a little step of growth on my journey. One of my favorite singers, Kim Hill sings: "I hear his voice and I'm convicted to rise above the status quo. He's asking me to live and listen and let His will move my soul. His holy spirit beckons. I can't help but answer. I am committed to the call. I vow to walk in Blind Faith. Willing to sacrifice it all to reflect Amazing Grace..."

A perfect day

I have lots of different things I've been thinking about writing tonight. I got news from home yesterday that included report of 4 different people (all retired) who I know who have died in the last few days. 2 of them were especially important to me. If I was home I'm sure I'd be sharing memories and good stories about Art and Jimmy. But, here - I don't know how to process my thoughts. They aren't family so no one will really understand the depth of my feelings. And grief isn't shared here very well. So, just a few words about each. Art - he's been part of my life since I was a young teen. He and his wife were leaders who we all loved. They were encouraging and fun and interested in us. From that time on, Art and Betty were friends with our family and our paths often crossed. I have always felt loved and special around them, even if lately I've only seen them once or twice a year. I'd love to give Betty and Don, their son, a hug and let them know these things. Then there is Jimmy - what a special man who I feel like I've known forever. Always had an idea about his corps (church) and wanted my opinion and maybe some help. So many times he wanted me to meet him in the city for breakfast or dinner or to come to church with him. I'm regretting that I never did that. But, he didn't seem to take it personally, he just kept asking. I will miss them both.

So, I wanted to also write about our training program committee, but that will keep because I have to write about today. I think it was the most perfect day I've had since I've been in Latvia. For odd reasons, I decided to take today as a vacation day and invited my friend, Dace, to join me on a trip outside Riga. She used to be my assistant and since that ended we haven't spent much time together. Being with her was great - she is the perfect friend for random touring! We left only knowing what highway we would take (unless we changed our minds!) I had one idea and she had another, so we decided to do both and then see what else might happen. The weather was perfect: sunny, but not too hot and a little breeze. We drove to Sigulda and went to the national park to walk around and then take the cable car across the river. We didn't know what a major hike it would be, climbing lots of little stairs and trying to find our way back to the car from the end of the cable car ride. But, it was exhilarating exercise and beautiful scenery. And we had nice, random conversations along the way. Our bodies were a bit sore, but we were happy. We then found a good, cheap little kafenica in Sigulda and treated ourselves to some good bakery for dessert. And they made great coffee! Back in the car for a short drive to Ligatne and the animal park. Another beautiful site and another major hike. But, I was feeling pretty good about the exercise and my ability to keep up with someone 20 years younger than me! By the time we got back to the car, we were exhausted but satisfied that we had had a really good day. It was probably the first day that I've felt absolutely no stress since I've been in Latvia. We hardly talked about work - again a first and when we did it was without emotion or my usual frustration. All in all, a perfect day! (except I forgot my camera!)

Being Content

Today it dawned on me that I've gotten used to my way of life in Latvia and I enjoy it. When I arrived I really fussed about needing a clothes dryer. Now, I don't even think about it and can't imagine where I would put it. And I've been doing a lot of car shopping, but honestly, I have learned how to get around in Riga without it and I really like walking and taking public transportation. I don't want to go back to my suburban mentality of driving everywhere. (I'll still get a car for the center and when I need to travel outside Riga - I'm not into long bus rides yet!) If only I could learn contentedness earlier and in some more significant areas of my life - why does it take me a year or a lifetime?

Language

I'm a verbal person - one of my spiritual gifts is preaching and another teaching - both are about effective communication. More than anything else that might occasionally bother me here, I'm frustrated by my inability to communicate at any deep level. In the last few days I've been around people who speak Latvian, Russian, German and some various dialects from the UK (Yorkshire is impossible to understand!) Even with those who also speak some English, I feel limited and I know they do, too. I'm learning a little Latvian and they all cheer me on and tell me how great I'm doing (they are much too nice) but I can't carry on a real conversation and that's what I'm about - it's how I know what means is effective to reach people with preaching and teaching. And it's how I develop friendships.

I don't have the answer and some days it doesn't bother me at all. Some days I feel like I'm making great progress. I have had some of those moments when language didn't matter, when I was able to communicate with my eyes and my heart. But is that enough? I don't know.

Life and learning

"Some of the things we believe about relationships and the life of faith need to be disposed of in potty sheds so we can be receptive to new and better ways."
Leonard Sweet "Out of the Question...Into the Mystery" (you have to read the book to appreciate the potty shed reference)

"The better a man will have known his own ignorance, the greater his learning will be."
Medieval mystic, theologian, and church reformer Nicholas of Cusa - from the same book.

New Wineskins

I read in Matthew 9 this morning about old and new wineskins. I think this is the first time I've really had to struggle with the concept. This year has been a challenge to almost everything I'm comfortable with in my Christian walk. I know - life with Christ is not supposed to be comfortable and I'm supposed to be challenged and stretched. The confusion comes for me in figuring out what the new wineskins are supposed to look like. What is the design of my faith walk? Jesus hasn't changed, although I'm learning much more about Him. The Spirit hasn't changed, although I'm experiencing much more of His work and moving in and around me. And I've seen God as Creator in new ways as I've traveled this year. But, it's the traditions and the practice of my (our) faith that is being challenged. I've never thought of myself as too conservative (comparatively) or traditional. Maybe others have (feel free to comment!) Here I feel very conservative and cling to the traditions of our denomination more than ever. In fact, I believe more in the historical tradition of our movement than before I came to Latvia. So, what I'm trying to figure out is if everything has to be new or can I blend what's good about what I've known and experienced before with what new things the Lord is trying to show me? Is everything that is different here from what I have known before good? I don't think so - not that it's bad - it's just that there are different color wineskins! Should mine be like the people I work with in Latvia or do I help them to add a little bit of difference to theirs with my perspective. And does any of this make sense!? This is a struggle that comes with some joy and anticipation about what my wineskin will look like when I'm done with this adventure. I fuss about it, but it's fun, too!

Here are some pictures of the UK mission team - another fun part of my work:











Left - on the playground with Riga 1 kids
Right - playing games at regional teen camp
Center - at the Latvian Youth Song Festival

Back in Latvia

I was going to start with all of my frustrations but then yesterday in church at Riga 1, I was reminded of lots of good things happening here. And maybe some of them I can pray are connected to me being here. Summer at Riga 1 is usually slow and in fact, the corps leaders hinted at cancelling worship meetings. But, that didn't happen. So, I walked in Sunday morning and saw several people who are new to our congregation. They are young adults who have been invited by Misha and Arturs (now known as Archy). These guys have found their mission - evangelism and discipling. It's so exciting to watch them. They set up a drop in cafe the first week I was home and every night they had some new people and lots of good conversations and fun. It's from the cafe that we have new people in church. They are quite an assortment - piercings, black coats, computer geeks and more. Not exactly what we have known in our corps, but they are like the community around us. If you had seen Archy just a few months ago, you wouldn't have believed he would be the one to do this. I could barely get a conversation out of him and we thought his greatest contribution to the corps would be to run Power Point. But, the Lord got a hold of him and gave him a vision. And Misha has just been waiting for someone to join him in his passion for evangelism.

We've had a mission team from the UK this month and they have added to the guys enthusiasm and vision. Also, my small group came almost every night to the cafe and I think they'll join right in. The rest of the corps and Pestisanas Armija better watch out! One of my group girls said last week that she thought she might be an officer! How cool is that? It's a brand new possibility for her and I believe God has a great plan for her. I also met with one of our middle aged candidates who is ready to come to training and start learning. Then visiting our corps with the mission team has been fun and encouraging.

So whatever the frustrations with organization and language - God is doing some exciting work here and I'm glad to be part of it. (more on the frustrations next time)

Ata - Evie

Me - a blogger?!

My friend Eric thinks I'll like this blogging. I've just looked over some blogs from people I know or who know people I know (aka links). Here's what I think - I'm too old (not cool enough) and I'm not sure I want to publish my random thoughts for the world to see. But, I love to write and will try just about anything once.

I've been home (in Latvia) for almost two weeks. I haven't had much time to think about what happened while I was really home (in Chicago/Livonia). I'm so glad I went and I'm glad about the timing. So many significant things happened while I was in the States: Eric & Cathleen's wedding, OBT prayer partner BBQ (OK, not so important to most but a nice moment for me), YouthQuake and Commissioning (more later), Russian cadets with Chris and Steve for the summer (a great connection to here), Joan & Patrick's wedding, Brad & Heidi's farewell (and the whole Bailey gang!). And the most precious - Steve and Ketsia were able to get out of Haiti and I got to spend my last weekend with them. Their circumstances do not seem like a blessing but it was sure an unexpected blessing for me to be able to see them. Thanks to Bob & Anne & Erin for sharing their home.

And because of all of those special events, I got to see hundreds of friends. If I start to name them, I'll be in trouble. But, I have to mention a few who I did have some good conversation and sharing with: Mark & Carolee and the God's Soldier's gang!, Miriam & David & extended family for Shelagh's 40th!, Chrissy S., Comms. Baillie, Bill & Sue, the whole gang at Shays! And some very special prayer moments with Rachel, Jeremy & Rachel, Miriam and Kirsten and my OBT family (Lisa!). Of course, time with my family in Livonia/Dearborn Heights - I'm so glad I could just hang out there and be part of their lives. I really miss them - enough said.

Comm. Baillie asked me what I thought about the Army in the Central - based on Youth Quake. I think there is a great future in our youth, but I've thought that for a long time. I think we need to make sure they are well grounded in their faith, with room for questions and challenge to our traditions. I think I really miss my interaction with the youth/young adults there and realize how much I treasure their openness, encouragement and vision. I think we need to really make visible changes in our traditional way of doing things - i.e. TEC and other 'oldies' like me with seats in the front. I think we have an incredible wealth in our new officers and they need pastoral care, continued support and learning and to be challenged to live out our mission and not just do the job. I think we could use a Steve and Danielle team who would have the respect and ear of the field and our leaders. Someone needs to be the outspoken, edgy one - even if I might not agree with their thinking! I realized how much I really care about what happens in the territory when I was able to look from an outside, uninvolved perspective. Not about the gossip or the system, but about the people and our real mission.

Enough (or too much) for my first entry. Later I'll talk about my return to Latvia and what I've been feeling and thinking.

Ata (bye) - Evie