Home

Some days I really want to be home and I think today is one of them. I'm really tired too so I'm sure that is affecting my feelings. I just had a note about my friend Pam who is going through really tough days, as are her friends as they help care for her. I'd love to be home to help out and support them during this time. And some events here in the last few days have made me wonder if I really belong here. So, the combination makes me just want to go home. But, that's not going to happen (nor should it) so I have to find a way to offer support and love to Pam from here. And I have to figure out what role I'm supposed to fill here, outside of the job I'm assigned to. Maybe later I'll write more about the basis for my 'out of place' feelings. I'm not at all miserable, just wondering...in fact, on the other hand I feel more comfortable and a part of the team than I ever have. We've had a lot of fun this week - it's kind of a strange mixture of emotions. Now I'm going to sleep and maybe tomorrow it will all be clear.

Love quietly

2 quotes from Paul in 1 Thessalonians for today: Love more and more ...and...mind your own business (NLT) I have been wondering how to do both at the same time! It is an interesting opportunity for me because I think I most often express love as I get involved in people's lives. Right now there are some issues which I need to stay out of but I do believe I need to practice loving relationships while keeping my mouth shut. A challenge for me but I know the Lord can make it happen! (Now, I know that I'm taking these two statements out of context but they struck me as very important and connected for my life today.)

Words, words, words

Language is going to be one of the struggles and I'm afraid it will be the one to bring me a lot of discouragement and frustration and helplessness. I had a few of those moments today. It's not about me being able to speak the language. At this point, that's the least important thing. It's about finding the person/people who can accurately translate between Latvian and English, plus Russian. That seems to be eluding me and I confess my great impatience. I don't want to hurt the feelings of those who are helping me now. It's just that I need more. On a lighter note - I'm going to Sweden tomorrow for a few days of vacation. I'm meeting my friend Birgitta and she's going to take me exploring the country. I know I just had some time away but this is the only time available for us to meet, so here I go!

Lessons from the Word

This summer I joined the Riga 2 corps Bible Study in reading the book of Matthew. Yesterday I finished it. I love reading the Bible because I always learn something new or gain a different understanding of even familiar passages. Perspective has something to do with it. So, this time unintentionally, I think I read it from Jesus’ perspective of training His disciples. What better model for me to use to design our training program? Not necessarily the curriculum, but my relationship with the cadets and the whole mentoring plan. I love His teaching method – stories and questions. There is an overwhelming aspect to this, too. What a great responsibility I’ve been given which will have lasting impact on the future of Pestišanas Armija. So, I decided the next thing I need to read is something from Paul, as he provided direction and ‘leadership training’ to the early Church. I started today with Thessalonians and then will move on to Timothy. Here’s what I read today:

1 Thess. 1: [4] For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, [5] because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. [6] You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.

So much to think about in that paragraph. My first thought was that my prayer would be that verse 5 would be true of me. I wonder what the people here think about my living here? Verse 6 is frightening in some ways – first that anyone would imitate me but what I was most impressed with was this thought of suffering. I have a sense that we will experience a lot of trouble as we prepare for training and during the program. It’s such a great opportunity for expanding the gospel in Latvia that there will be opposition. I have no idea where it will come from but I believe we (I) have to be prepared. I need my friends to pray for protection for me and those who have so willingly responded to God’s call in this way. Protection from what? I’ve been thinking about that today – attitudes, egos, discouragement, fear, an overwhelming sense of it all. But, mostly, I feel that we need protection from personal sin. Because this whole thing is dependent on a few individuals, we (I) need to be very aware of keeping my own life pure and my relationship with the Lord alive and growing. If you think about us – pray, please!

Saturday in Riga

Today was one of those days that I absolutely love. It's Saturday, I have nothing planned, no urgent work, a semi-clean house, and it isn't raining! So, I slept in a bit and then took off for the center of the city. Have I said before "I love Riga!"? I do - it's architecture and art in general. The great historical significance of the Old city always amazes me. So many layers of history to learn and to use to understand the people and the culture. I headed to Melngalvju Nams (House of Blackheads). In the past I've been so fascinated just walking around that I've hardly stepped inside any of the museums. Today I went in and I'm so glad I did. Again, the history surrounding the building is incredible - everything is older than anything in the US! And the layers of war and occupation are very evident in this great building. I asked one of the guides about a small sculpture in Latvian "Kas tas ir?" or what is that? She fell for it and began a whole history lesson in Latvian. The wonderful thing was that I understand at least half. And when I had to confess ignorance, she thought I must speak Russian. It may not seem like such a big deal, but I love the moments when I am not automatically identified as American. She kept talking in Latvian and we had a lovely time. She urged me to look through the rest of the building where there are sculptures, paintings and lavish banquet rooms, too. And apparently, there is some African significance to the title. I didn't realize it before, but there are pictures and all kinds of artistic works of a black man named Maurice. I have to get that story because that is not like anything else in Latvia. From there I went to Dome Square and wondered around the Dome Cathedral. I couldn't go in because there was a wedding, but they had a cool stained glass exhibition and lots of relics around the inner court. That ended my sightseeing - I went shopping at the Stockman's Department store - very American and there are a couple of things I like to buy there once in a while. It's also a fun place to hear all of the languages spoken there - everyone non-Latvian or Russian eventually ends up there, as do many locals. I bought just enough to fill my backpack then headed home. It's a good walk and it was a nice, cool but not cold day. Perfect for walking. After unloading the backpack, I got my hair cut - always an adventure. This time a man cut my hair "Gunars" - he was great. As far as I could tell the only English word he knew was 'short', but that's what I needed so we were just fine! I returned to welcome home Graeme, Zoe and Sian from their vacation. Now, I'm fixing a nice meal and plan to read or watch a movie for the rest of the evening. I'm a happy girl!

A Day in Latvia

Because I’m creating a new program, there isn’t much routine to my days. I’m most often working from home which is not my best setting – I’m easily distracted and because there aren’t a lot of urgent tasks I don’t feel motivated to work very hard. I’m a project oriented person and much of what I should be doing now is simply studying and organizing to get ready for training to begin. I know that once the training program opens, I’ll be so busy I won’t have the luxury of distractions. But, that’s when I’m at my best, so I look forward to it.

So, here’s what I did today. I’m getting the application forms for training ready, but as with most things that doesn’t involve a lot of work by me. It mainly requires finding people to translate from English to Latvian, Latvian to Russian, Swedish to Latvian to English to Russian, etc. This is the biggest frustration about my work, because I have no control over the quality or even the ability to double check. So, the applications arrived from Sweden and I had first to find a Latvian who can read Swedish and translate it to Latvian. Then, so that I could know what the forms said, it had to be translated from Latvian into English. Getting that done has taken several months. Once I had an idea of what the forms said, I had to do some editing (in English) to make them appropriate for our needs. Today I sat for a couple of hours with Henrik and went over all of the documents. He is Danish and reads some Swedish and has good English skills. He read through the Swedish forms while I attempted to decipher the Latvian and made changes on the English. Then I have to have the Latvian corrected. And by the way, we are having the forms translated from Latvian to Russian, too.

While we were in the middle of today, it seemed like just a normal day. But, when you think about what we were trying to do – it’s pretty funny and in my more cynical moments, I would say it’s ridiculous to think that we could have any kind of acceptable documents from our work. But, we are all we’ve got. I mean there are others who could have replaced one of us at our skill level, but no one who is expert in what we were doing.
This was just a taste of what I’ll be trying to do when I get applications turned in, written in Latvian and Russian. And then I can’t even think about how I’ll handle homework during the training program! This is a miracle of God’s grace and probably, patience! and we have to have those kinds of miracles every day if this is really supposed to happen.

A Year in Latvia

A year ago yesterday I arrived in Latvia. Someone suggested that the year had gone by very quickly, but honestly, it's been one of the longest years of my life! A whole year of every single thing being new and with primarily a computer to help me process all of it. Yes, the computer has helped me use my friends from around the world for adjusting and coping and I can't imagine what I would have done without that access. The newness is starting to slow down, but still there are tasks that come up that I have to get up the courage to do on my own or the humility to ask for help. Both things that I needed to learn and am learning daily. A recent 'new experience' example - I had to get a rental car washed before returning it a couple of weeks ago. In the past, I've either just paid the extra fee not to wash it or asked someone to do it for me. But, I was certain that I could now take the car to the station and drive it through the wash without help. I mean, how many dozens of times have I done that in the States? Well, I know the word for card is 'carte' and the little machine said put your 'carte' here (in Latvian!) So, I put my debit card in the slot but I quickly figured out that's not the kind of card they meant! Now my debit card was stuck, there was a car waiting behind me and I had to go confess that I had broken the machine. Not me - I took a pen or something from my purse and starting pulling on my card and in a one of those grace moments, it came out. Now I still have to go buy the right kind of card in the station. The man behind me spoke English and suggested I should pull out and let him go through, which I did. Well, it all ended happily but was a reminder that I am not self-sufficient yet! When I say longest, I don't mean it's been the hardest year - I've had much harder (stories for another time). It's been a great and amazing year in many ways and certainly a challenge and stretching year, which is what I felt God was calling me to. Just long and often difficult and a bit lonely. Even as I write that I realize I've been very fortunate to have so many people around me who have become friends. I know there are many 'missionaries' who don't have the blessing of fellowship that I have here. Earlier in the year my friend Carolyn wrote and asked me what was as I had expected and what was different. That set me on quite a thought process and I started to make a list. I want to look it over, edit a bit and then I'll post it. All week I had been planning on making yesterday a retreat and renewal day. I wasn't going anywhere, just stay in the house and read through my journal, write, pray and make some goals for my second year. Of course, it didn't happen. Thursday had been a very long and exhausting day. Henrik, Lisbeth and I met from 10a.m. until after 6p.m., including going to lunch together. It was a productive and good day - we talked about some detail work, but mostly talked about the big picture for Pestisanas Armija in Latvia. Our own roles and the future when we will be gone. More than any other time, I felt we were all heading in the same direction and I felt a lot of freedom to really share my impressions and vision. Anyway, I was of course too tired to spend the next day in the same kind of mode. So, I worked in the morning and then crashed most of the rest of the day - another kind of retreat! When I find the right day to try retreating I'll probably have lots to write down here. And what we did on Thursday will help me with my goals. (if someone reading this knows how to make paragraphs in these posts, would you let me know - I'm still learning)

Something new...

Have you ever had the feeling that God was trying to tell you something? Here's what I read last night from Leonard Sweet: "Embrace chaos...Only chaos brings forth new ideas, new experiences, and new energies, because only chaos is open and receiving, ready for change...Order is what already is; it's status quo. chaos is what can be; it's phase transition...Seek the order within the chaos, not the order imposed on the chaos." This is definitely a chaos kind of place for me - mostly because I have no idea what comes next. Combine this with my reflections on new wineskins which has been amazing. As I was preparing for my sermon the Lord really spoke to me about being ready for everything old to be replaced with something new. And an understanding that the new might be uncomfortable and even painful (like new shoes) but the result will be something amazing. Rev. 21:5 - I am making everything new! and Lamentations 3 - God's mercies are new every morning! I need to expect God's newness every day and I need to be ready for it, in case it comes in a difficult package. Usually I would just ignore the sense of impending hardship, but I can't really avoid this idea of 'newness' coming from so many different directions. And I can't wait to see what God has planned. It's all part of the journey and the mystery.

of Mice and Men

It's 1:19 am and I'm awake and writing in my blog - what would cause me to do that? A very active mouse who thinks my bedroom is his playland. I tried to ignore him, but he seems to like to run back and forth past my headboard. That's a little too close for me. I have no offensive weapons and my only defense is to leave the room - so the mouse wins! The other battle going on in Riga happened this weekend when the first Gay and Lesbian Parade was held. This whole issue is a shock to Latvians or so it seems. The Anglicans have embraced and celebrated with the gays. The only group speaking against their lifestyle are the neo-Nazi types. I had no idea it had happened until the next day when testimony time in church became 'state your opinion and tell the other guy he's wrong' time. Even then I only understood a bit from the random translation I was getting and my own limited Latvian skills. It seemed we were debating about law versus grace. It's a good discussion to have, but it was not the appropriate time nor was there a church leader there to give some direction. As Latvia becomes more and more like the rest of Europe, they are going to have so many ethical issues to consider and debate. The Church is going to have to figure out what our role is. Last year in Chicago I helped pass out cold drinks at our Pride parade. I'd love to get a group to do that here, but I'm not sure they would be ready or that I would be allowed. As I've been listening the thing that has struck me is how challenging but extremely important will be the ethics and social issues classes for our training program. I'm going to need serious prayer and consultation.

Now for something totally frivolous since I'm not ready to tackle the mouse yet: I've been thinking about shoes and bags the last two weeks. Why? Because I'm trying to figure out how to efficiently travel back and forth to my new training center office and just generally get around Riga comfortably. My office is a tram ride and depending on my timing a long walk away. I'm enjoying the route and just getting out of this building but I've got serious blisters from using the wrong shoes. Latvian women wear Italian pointy, spiky shoes which I can't even think about. But, I can't wear my Keds or Reeboks either. So, I've been trying different shoes. What I've noticed about the Latvian women is that their feet are seriously damaged from those awful shoes - they all wear strappy sandals in the summer so you can tell! The problem is the roads are mostly cobble stone or some other uneven brick work. Which leads me to what bag do I use to carry my laptop and work back and forth? I have my brief case which rolls and have hesitated using it because I look even more like the rich American. But, I brought it out last week. Now I know why people here don't use them (even the rich ones) - it's those same cobble stone roads - the wheels don't work on them! So I ended up carrying it which makes it useless. For now I'm using my back pack which makes me look like a student (old one) or tourist. And I saw a disaster in an airport when someone's laptop just dropped right onto the floor from a back pack. I cannot afford that. When I think about all the good bags I've had from youth councils, camps, conferences and given away...oh well. I'm shopping for just the right bag. What do Latvians use? For most of their toting they use plastic shopping bags - random ones from various stores. Women carry one or two instead of a canvas bag, even those who wear suits and seem to be professionals. Marina brought 6-7 bags on our trip last week. She kept bringing out surprising things like mugs, coffee and tea, a heating coil, spoons and food, plus the clothes and things she needed. One small suitcase would have held it all, but she likes her bags. I guess it's a good recycling program. No great insight from all of this thinking - just part of trying to live and fit into another culture without aching feet!

Walking in Blind Faith

The next two days I spent traveling in Northeastern Latvia with my friends Veronika, Dana and Marina (their mom). (Pictures: 1. River at Masaslaca 2. Dana, Evie and Veronika at Baltic Sea 3. "Thank God we made it!" through a winding forest path and back out several hours later!) This was a practice in faith and humility for me because other than being the driver, I had no idea where we were going or what we would be doing. And neither did they - it was a real adventure! See a sign, turn onto a dirt road and drive until we find something - that was the usual plan and it worked. Even when we came to the evening and no place to sleep. Marina stopped someone on the street of a tiny village and we ended up in a sports camp dorm which was really nice. I have to say that my faith was wavering right up to the point where we walked into the room and saw the beds and private shower/toilet! We got to see the Baltic Sea from lots of different perspectives. And we did miles of walking through forests with no idea of what we would find at the end or if/when it might end. Usually we found a beach and the sea and always another beautiful nature scene. I found that being a follower is hard for me (surprise!) and a little tiring. It's hard work for me to keep my mouth shut and trust someone else to make decisions! But, in another way, it's also peaceful and freeing. This wasn't any big deal but for me a little step of growth on my journey. One of my favorite singers, Kim Hill sings: "I hear his voice and I'm convicted to rise above the status quo. He's asking me to live and listen and let His will move my soul. His holy spirit beckons. I can't help but answer. I am committed to the call. I vow to walk in Blind Faith. Willing to sacrifice it all to reflect Amazing Grace..."

A perfect day

I have lots of different things I've been thinking about writing tonight. I got news from home yesterday that included report of 4 different people (all retired) who I know who have died in the last few days. 2 of them were especially important to me. If I was home I'm sure I'd be sharing memories and good stories about Art and Jimmy. But, here - I don't know how to process my thoughts. They aren't family so no one will really understand the depth of my feelings. And grief isn't shared here very well. So, just a few words about each. Art - he's been part of my life since I was a young teen. He and his wife were leaders who we all loved. They were encouraging and fun and interested in us. From that time on, Art and Betty were friends with our family and our paths often crossed. I have always felt loved and special around them, even if lately I've only seen them once or twice a year. I'd love to give Betty and Don, their son, a hug and let them know these things. Then there is Jimmy - what a special man who I feel like I've known forever. Always had an idea about his corps (church) and wanted my opinion and maybe some help. So many times he wanted me to meet him in the city for breakfast or dinner or to come to church with him. I'm regretting that I never did that. But, he didn't seem to take it personally, he just kept asking. I will miss them both.

So, I wanted to also write about our training program committee, but that will keep because I have to write about today. I think it was the most perfect day I've had since I've been in Latvia. For odd reasons, I decided to take today as a vacation day and invited my friend, Dace, to join me on a trip outside Riga. She used to be my assistant and since that ended we haven't spent much time together. Being with her was great - she is the perfect friend for random touring! We left only knowing what highway we would take (unless we changed our minds!) I had one idea and she had another, so we decided to do both and then see what else might happen. The weather was perfect: sunny, but not too hot and a little breeze. We drove to Sigulda and went to the national park to walk around and then take the cable car across the river. We didn't know what a major hike it would be, climbing lots of little stairs and trying to find our way back to the car from the end of the cable car ride. But, it was exhilarating exercise and beautiful scenery. And we had nice, random conversations along the way. Our bodies were a bit sore, but we were happy. We then found a good, cheap little kafenica in Sigulda and treated ourselves to some good bakery for dessert. And they made great coffee! Back in the car for a short drive to Ligatne and the animal park. Another beautiful site and another major hike. But, I was feeling pretty good about the exercise and my ability to keep up with someone 20 years younger than me! By the time we got back to the car, we were exhausted but satisfied that we had had a really good day. It was probably the first day that I've felt absolutely no stress since I've been in Latvia. We hardly talked about work - again a first and when we did it was without emotion or my usual frustration. All in all, a perfect day! (except I forgot my camera!)

Being Content

Today it dawned on me that I've gotten used to my way of life in Latvia and I enjoy it. When I arrived I really fussed about needing a clothes dryer. Now, I don't even think about it and can't imagine where I would put it. And I've been doing a lot of car shopping, but honestly, I have learned how to get around in Riga without it and I really like walking and taking public transportation. I don't want to go back to my suburban mentality of driving everywhere. (I'll still get a car for the center and when I need to travel outside Riga - I'm not into long bus rides yet!) If only I could learn contentedness earlier and in some more significant areas of my life - why does it take me a year or a lifetime?

Language

I'm a verbal person - one of my spiritual gifts is preaching and another teaching - both are about effective communication. More than anything else that might occasionally bother me here, I'm frustrated by my inability to communicate at any deep level. In the last few days I've been around people who speak Latvian, Russian, German and some various dialects from the UK (Yorkshire is impossible to understand!) Even with those who also speak some English, I feel limited and I know they do, too. I'm learning a little Latvian and they all cheer me on and tell me how great I'm doing (they are much too nice) but I can't carry on a real conversation and that's what I'm about - it's how I know what means is effective to reach people with preaching and teaching. And it's how I develop friendships.

I don't have the answer and some days it doesn't bother me at all. Some days I feel like I'm making great progress. I have had some of those moments when language didn't matter, when I was able to communicate with my eyes and my heart. But is that enough? I don't know.

Life and learning

"Some of the things we believe about relationships and the life of faith need to be disposed of in potty sheds so we can be receptive to new and better ways."
Leonard Sweet "Out of the Question...Into the Mystery" (you have to read the book to appreciate the potty shed reference)

"The better a man will have known his own ignorance, the greater his learning will be."
Medieval mystic, theologian, and church reformer Nicholas of Cusa - from the same book.

New Wineskins

I read in Matthew 9 this morning about old and new wineskins. I think this is the first time I've really had to struggle with the concept. This year has been a challenge to almost everything I'm comfortable with in my Christian walk. I know - life with Christ is not supposed to be comfortable and I'm supposed to be challenged and stretched. The confusion comes for me in figuring out what the new wineskins are supposed to look like. What is the design of my faith walk? Jesus hasn't changed, although I'm learning much more about Him. The Spirit hasn't changed, although I'm experiencing much more of His work and moving in and around me. And I've seen God as Creator in new ways as I've traveled this year. But, it's the traditions and the practice of my (our) faith that is being challenged. I've never thought of myself as too conservative (comparatively) or traditional. Maybe others have (feel free to comment!) Here I feel very conservative and cling to the traditions of our denomination more than ever. In fact, I believe more in the historical tradition of our movement than before I came to Latvia. So, what I'm trying to figure out is if everything has to be new or can I blend what's good about what I've known and experienced before with what new things the Lord is trying to show me? Is everything that is different here from what I have known before good? I don't think so - not that it's bad - it's just that there are different color wineskins! Should mine be like the people I work with in Latvia or do I help them to add a little bit of difference to theirs with my perspective. And does any of this make sense!? This is a struggle that comes with some joy and anticipation about what my wineskin will look like when I'm done with this adventure. I fuss about it, but it's fun, too!

Here are some pictures of the UK mission team - another fun part of my work:











Left - on the playground with Riga 1 kids
Right - playing games at regional teen camp
Center - at the Latvian Youth Song Festival

Back in Latvia

I was going to start with all of my frustrations but then yesterday in church at Riga 1, I was reminded of lots of good things happening here. And maybe some of them I can pray are connected to me being here. Summer at Riga 1 is usually slow and in fact, the corps leaders hinted at cancelling worship meetings. But, that didn't happen. So, I walked in Sunday morning and saw several people who are new to our congregation. They are young adults who have been invited by Misha and Arturs (now known as Archy). These guys have found their mission - evangelism and discipling. It's so exciting to watch them. They set up a drop in cafe the first week I was home and every night they had some new people and lots of good conversations and fun. It's from the cafe that we have new people in church. They are quite an assortment - piercings, black coats, computer geeks and more. Not exactly what we have known in our corps, but they are like the community around us. If you had seen Archy just a few months ago, you wouldn't have believed he would be the one to do this. I could barely get a conversation out of him and we thought his greatest contribution to the corps would be to run Power Point. But, the Lord got a hold of him and gave him a vision. And Misha has just been waiting for someone to join him in his passion for evangelism.

We've had a mission team from the UK this month and they have added to the guys enthusiasm and vision. Also, my small group came almost every night to the cafe and I think they'll join right in. The rest of the corps and Pestisanas Armija better watch out! One of my group girls said last week that she thought she might be an officer! How cool is that? It's a brand new possibility for her and I believe God has a great plan for her. I also met with one of our middle aged candidates who is ready to come to training and start learning. Then visiting our corps with the mission team has been fun and encouraging.

So whatever the frustrations with organization and language - God is doing some exciting work here and I'm glad to be part of it. (more on the frustrations next time)

Ata - Evie

Me - a blogger?!

My friend Eric thinks I'll like this blogging. I've just looked over some blogs from people I know or who know people I know (aka links). Here's what I think - I'm too old (not cool enough) and I'm not sure I want to publish my random thoughts for the world to see. But, I love to write and will try just about anything once.

I've been home (in Latvia) for almost two weeks. I haven't had much time to think about what happened while I was really home (in Chicago/Livonia). I'm so glad I went and I'm glad about the timing. So many significant things happened while I was in the States: Eric & Cathleen's wedding, OBT prayer partner BBQ (OK, not so important to most but a nice moment for me), YouthQuake and Commissioning (more later), Russian cadets with Chris and Steve for the summer (a great connection to here), Joan & Patrick's wedding, Brad & Heidi's farewell (and the whole Bailey gang!). And the most precious - Steve and Ketsia were able to get out of Haiti and I got to spend my last weekend with them. Their circumstances do not seem like a blessing but it was sure an unexpected blessing for me to be able to see them. Thanks to Bob & Anne & Erin for sharing their home.

And because of all of those special events, I got to see hundreds of friends. If I start to name them, I'll be in trouble. But, I have to mention a few who I did have some good conversation and sharing with: Mark & Carolee and the God's Soldier's gang!, Miriam & David & extended family for Shelagh's 40th!, Chrissy S., Comms. Baillie, Bill & Sue, the whole gang at Shays! And some very special prayer moments with Rachel, Jeremy & Rachel, Miriam and Kirsten and my OBT family (Lisa!). Of course, time with my family in Livonia/Dearborn Heights - I'm so glad I could just hang out there and be part of their lives. I really miss them - enough said.

Comm. Baillie asked me what I thought about the Army in the Central - based on Youth Quake. I think there is a great future in our youth, but I've thought that for a long time. I think we need to make sure they are well grounded in their faith, with room for questions and challenge to our traditions. I think I really miss my interaction with the youth/young adults there and realize how much I treasure their openness, encouragement and vision. I think we need to really make visible changes in our traditional way of doing things - i.e. TEC and other 'oldies' like me with seats in the front. I think we have an incredible wealth in our new officers and they need pastoral care, continued support and learning and to be challenged to live out our mission and not just do the job. I think we could use a Steve and Danielle team who would have the respect and ear of the field and our leaders. Someone needs to be the outspoken, edgy one - even if I might not agree with their thinking! I realized how much I really care about what happens in the territory when I was able to look from an outside, uninvolved perspective. Not about the gossip or the system, but about the people and our real mission.

Enough (or too much) for my first entry. Later I'll talk about my return to Latvia and what I've been feeling and thinking.

Ata (bye) - Evie