New group and new morning

So, Sarah has decided our corps needs an English speaking small group, which of course includes me. We are having some trouble getting it all together but so far I've been to two meetings. The group includes 4 married couples, 2 married women and me and we rotate homes for meeting. To this point the group has either been all women or all men. Some hope to keep it that way. I don't know what I think. I would enjoy being with the men, but it has been very nice to be with the women at these first meetings. Last night there were 5 of us. Sarah is our leader and we are pretty informal in structure. She plans some 'serendipitous' questions (love those!?) and brings her guitar so we can sing worship songs in English! Then she shares something from a book she's been reading and we discuss it. Of course, there is a lot of additional conversation in between. Then we end with prayer. Oh, and there is food and tea - there is always food and tea in Latvia (not a problem for me.)

My evening started out a bit rough as I went home from work. My first impulse was not to go to the group. I went out for a walk and then sat and meditated for a while. The Lord clearly said, "This group is one of my answers to your need. Don't miss it. Go!" So, I went and I'm so glad I did. We had great conversation and seemed to easily be open with each other. 2 of the group are rather new to us, so that wasn't a given. During the prayer time I was praying for one of us and her family when I was totally overwhelmed with emotion. My tears have come much more easily since being in Latvia, part of the humbling process. The girls probably thought it was stress and exhaustion and maybe there was a little of that. But, it was something more. I started to pray for her daughter and I couldn't speak. The Lord reminded me of the burden He had given me while I was the TYS. I became passionate about caring for the children of officers. Since I've been here, once in a while I think about it and wonder how I could do something, but I never have felt moved to any particular action. Last night in that moment of emotion I realized that I was in a room with 4 women who were each somehow involved in ministy, away from their extended families and with young children whose lives would be hugely impacted by this. Just as I pray for my sister's family and the families of my friends at home, I need to consistently pray for these children. I can't plan OK retreats or parties or any TYS type things, but I can pray and I will. And we'll see what happens from there.

This morning I was reading Psalm 27 and I found the answer to my prayer from yesterday for "Infinite Joy". It is 'to live in the house of the Lord forever, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.' Simple and yet, not so.

And here's what I read about the rewards of ministry: "Our place is not the auditorium but the stage - or, as the case may be, the field, workshop, study, laboratory-because we ourselves form part of the creative apparatus of God. He made us in order to use us, and use us in the most profitable way; for his purpose, not ours. To live a spiritual life means subordinating all other interests to that single fact. Sometimes our position seems to be that of tools, taken up when wanted, used in ways which we had not expected for an object on which our opinion is not asked, and then laid down. Sometimes we are the currency used in some great operation, of which the purpose is not revealed to us. Sometimes we are servants, left year in, year out to the same monotonous job. Sometimes we are conscious fellow-workers with the Perfect, striving to bring the Kingdom in. ... Taking responsibility if we are called to it, or just bringing the workers their dinner, cleaning and sharpening the tools. All self-willed choices and obstinacy drained out of what we thought to be our work; so that it becomes more and more God's work in us. from The Spiritual Life by Evelyn Underhill