Renewed and Exhausted

I am so tired! I feel like I haven't had a chance to process (not sure I like that word) one thing and the next significant something has started. This is a good tired though, because what's happening is great and I feel like I'm headed toward a really important place - both for me and for our work in Latvia. Here's what the last few weeks have been like:

Vacation in Sweden - I spent 5 beautiful days touring around Sweden with my friend, Birgitta. She gave me such a gift by driving me around and walking all over the place, even to places she had seen before. We had lots of talks about life, history and the future - some pretty intense but all helpful. We also laughed much and ate lots of good food. One of my favorite parts of those days was having lunch every day outside, often near the water. They were restful and renewing days. In the midst of the historical tour of Sweden I got to spend an evening with Johanna and Andres who are young and contagiously enthusiastic about being part of Kingdom work in Sweden. They also patiently listened to my stories about Latvia and about Steve and Ketsia in Haiti. Being with them reminded me again of how much I love working with and being in the presence of young(er) adults. People who are discovering God's way in their lives and look at life from a different angle. Personal renewal came through seeing the beauty of God's creation and, although it wasn't always easy, getting a different perspective from Birgitta about life here.

Alpha in Latvia - I returned to hurriedly get ready for the first Alpha training conference in Latvia, which Pestisanas Armija was hosting and I was managing. We had wonderful and energetic guests from Denmark who were such fun and also a nice retired couple from the UK who shared their passion for Alpha. While it was a lot of work, it was a joy, too. We had fun, got inspired and enjoyed each other's company. For me, the greatest joy was spending time with pastors from other denominations. I have been in Salvation Army isolation since being here and it was like a breath of fresh air to sit at meals with a Catholic priest or a Lutheran lay minister and share in our common purpose. This was a landmark event in so many ways, but mostly we all felt that God was and is trying to do something exciting in Latvia through our meeting together. It may be Alpha or it may be the ecumenical experience, but there is no doubt that God did wonderful things and opened our eyes to new possibilities.

Assessment Conference in the UK - Two days later I was on my way to London to join their Candidate Assessment Conference as an observer. We need a process for reviewing and accepting Candidates for officer training and I was there to steal what I could! I love London!!!! So, it was no hardship to make this trip. And I love my friends, Steve and Morag who live there. We spent one day together before the conference started walking around London, seeing the new IHQ and mostly, talking as fast as we could about everything since we haven't seen each other for over a year. For me, one day in London is almost painful, because it just makes me want to come back and spend a week! So, maybe I will. On to the assessment conference...it's an intensive time of interviews and projects and review. I sat in on several different things, but mostly had to keep my mouth shut (you can imagine how hard that was.) Fortunately, there were some free moments and meal times when I could have lovely conversations with some of the candidates and team. I've already said how inspired I am by youthful people, so once again I found myself enchanted by several younger adults who were lively and even seemed to be interested in my story! One of my favorite people was a not so young woman who lives by the sea and has a peaceful and encouraging manner. I could have sat and talked with her for hours. Maybe a visit to the sea will have to be on my holiday agenda. Another joy was getting to know the assessment team, who accepted me into their fellowship right away. It's one of the characteristics of the Salvation Army that I love - you can be at home anywhere when you are with other Salvationists. The conference gave me plenty to think about and will be a great starting point for what we do here.

But, as often happens, the Lord also had something for me. First, I took a little personality survey that each of the delegates took. It is computerized and spit out my results saying "YOU ARE IN TRANSITION"!!!! It then went on to describe how crazy I have been feeling this year. I wasn't surprised - it's not magic. I gave it these answers and knew that by the nature of the survey I would show up this way. Anyway, I had a bit of quiet time and decided to read. I also needed to prepare my testimony for one of the sessions. In the midst of that time, the Lord clearly told me that I have been struggling too much, trying to work out every question, every hard thing, every uncertainty with my own answers. Instead, He wants me to enjoy the questions (ala Leonard Sweet) and most importantly, enjoy the journey. He'll take care of the rest. That is so freeing for me. Now, I need to put it into practice and see what God has for me tomorrow! And now you know why I'm so tired!